This is survival of the fittest. Sure, he's done irreparable damage to his kidneys and liver, but he saved his life, got fucked out of his head, and has a story that'll never fail to get him laid. Truly a hero to my entire gender. Thank you, sir.

So there've been some shit dervishes whirling around work the past few days. I'll say this and only this: People need to take a step back and settle the fuck down.

I'm usually not the mawkish type, but this really tugs the heartstrings:



There's nothing quite like a near-death experience when it comes to reminding you about what's important.

Speaking of things written in blood, President Bush has ordered his Cabinet secretaries to stop propagandizing. Apparently they didn't know any better. Oh-ho! What a hoot!

And on the same day, it's being reported that a new paper will be entering the Beltway arena. How will it compete with the Post? Well, the billionaire investor who's funding it bought up his lesser competition (for an undisclosed sum) and is offering a free paper that runs Sun-Fri.

So who's pulling the strings? Philip Anschutz, founder of Qwest Communications and oil tycoon magnifique, who has land holdings in Colorado, Wyoming and Texas. Some crazy stuff's been going on lately. I've always wanted to travel -- now I have an excuse. Maybe this winter. Who knows?

Ann Coulter for mayor of Chattanooga! She's got experience, vitality, vision, and a name people already recognize!

I did absolutely nothing today and it was everything I thought it could be. I really think our society underestimates the value of laziness. Give me a good 14 hours and I'm ready for another week of bullshit.